Not Going to Take it Anymore

My in-laws visited this past weekend. It stresses me out horribly when they visit, for several reasons. Hopefully we aren't going to have problems with one of those reasons any longer, though. This visit might have taken care of that issue for good.

One reason is that they don't necessarily feel as protective of pets as I do and I live in fear that our cats will end up outside during one of their visits. Cats are more of a disposable commodity to them - they always live outside and when they stop showing up or get run over then it's time to get a new one. Fortunately they haven't gotten any new cats for a while, but I worry that their carelessness when it comes to cats will be a problem while they're here. I'm sure they think I'm nuts because I follow them every time they go outside just so I can close the door that they often leave open.

Then of course there's the fact that my mother-in-law is eagle eyed when it comes to my house. Her own house, not so much - dust could be three feet thick and it wouldn't matter. But in my house any little thing that's amiss is a HUGE problem. (And admittedly, there are always plenty of things amiss, but I am of the mindset that you don't point things like that out in someone else's home.) She says things to be helpful, not critical. Supposedly, anyway. Last time I had forgotten to dust a shelf, which she kindly pointed out. Other times I've missed the dust on the TV or forgotten to wash my breakfast dishes quickly enough. This time it was the guest towel . . . "Skurvy, dear, your guest towel seems to have soured. You might want to replace it." Well, it hadn't. I checked, though I of course thanked her for pointing it out and got out a new one. I think the next time we go visit them I might be as helpful as she is when she's here and point out any housekeeping issues she might have missed.

And then there's my father in law. He's the thing that set me off this time. He wouldn't see it this way, but the truth is that he can be a bit of a bully. He likes picking on people who he sees as weaker than him. I don't know where he learned them, but he has some great bullying techniques. He knows just the right spot to poke you in the ribcage so your ribs hurt for the rest of the day, or how to squeeze just above your elbow so that spot hurts horribly and the rest of your arm is numb for hours. He thinks it's hilarious to do things like that to people, but only the ones who don't fight back. He's done that sort of thing to me since I met him, and now he does it to The Kidd, too. He's sneaky about it - he'll creep up behind us and grab our arms and then laugh because he knows we aren't going to do anything about it but try to avoid him as long as possible.
So they had gotten here and they were talking about the people they've seen recently and he was laughing and relaying the story of how he had hurt a former student when he saw him the other day. It's another one of those wonderful ways he tortures people. He grabbed the guy's hand and folded it down under his wrist and then squeezed. (Go on - try doing that to yourself for a second. Hurts, doesn't it? And imagine if it was someone else doing it who wouldn't stop when it started to hurt!) He kept on about how funny it had been, how the guy couldn't do anything but follow him wherever Dad wanted to pull him. And finally I had just had enough. I've put up with being poked at, and pinched, and all kinds of things like that for years. I haven't said anything about it because I'm very nonconfrontational.

(I know, a few of you are thinking I've lost my mind at this point because you know me and I am not at all afraid of confrontation. But usually I can just confront people with whom I am comfortable, not people I don't know or the ones I think I have to be nice to.)

But at that point I was sick of letting him bully me (and now The Kidd) for so long. I was tired of laughing it off when he hurts me, and letting him think it's okay. So I just snapped, and those of you who have seen me truly angry can probably picture what happened next. I glared at him and told me that if someone had grabbed me that way, I would have broken their nose. He just laughed and said "You can't hit someone when they're holding your wrist like that - that's the beauty of it, they can't do anything!" So I pointed out that I would have a free arm left to hit with, and if that didn't work then I would have the use of both knees and anyone idiotic enough to try something like that on me should keep in mind that some sensitive areas would be within range of a good kneeing. And then I said that if not before, I would break their nose once they let go, and they'd have to let go eventually.

The fact is, if he tried the wrist thing on me then my wrist would be messed up for months and I'd be wearing my wrist brace again. I am not about to let him do something like that to me and I truly would hurt him back and not feel a bit bad about it. And I'm not going to put up with any of the rest of it anymore, either. The next time he sneaks up and pokes me in the ribs he's getting a swift elbow in his ribs. And the next time he grabs my elbow I'm kicking him. And The Kidd has permission to defend himself however he feels necessary. We're not letting someone hurt us for their own amusement any longer. I've had enough. He's been warned. We aren't going to take it anymore.